15 Things I've Learned on the Journey to 40!

As I celebrate my 40^th Birthday, I can’t help thinking that I am sooooo not the same girl I was at 20, 25, and in some ways even 30, but in many ways I am! Below I’ve compiled a list of the things that I know to be truth.  It took me 40 years to get here – don’t judge me!

1.        Trust your instincts. – That’s why you have them.  I can attribute the many missteps in my life to ignoring that inner voice that told me better!

2.        No one is all one thing (Thanks K.Ford). – It’s the truth. Even someone who is rotten as hell has some redeeming qualities . . . somewhere. Likewise, that sweet grandma on your block has a skeleton or two in her closet. People are dynamic and complex . . .  a mixed bag of crazy! Word!

3.        Don’t feel sorry for yourself. No one will join you in that. – That pity party you’re planning will only have a guest list of one. Ain’t nobody got time for that!!!

4.        Behavior Breeds Behavior. – If you come at a person with attitude, you stand a 95.9% chance of getting that attitude right back. On the flip side though, if someone is giving it to you and you react with calm, it confuses them and they calm the hell down too! It’s amazing to watch.

5.        If you don’t like it, fix it! – This year my brother-in-law will celebrate his 50^th  . . .  but with braces on his teeth. His motto is why walk around wishing things were better, make it better! Message!

6.         Don’t compare your life to others – This is just one of the reasons that Facebook is the devil. People will post their best, smiliest, thinnest, most fabulous pics on purpose and have you thinking that something is wrong with your life. Just remember, that they probably won’t post pics of their bad hair days, stacked up laundry, credit card statements, past due bills, etc. You’re all right!

7.         “Praise even the leaves” – I heard this years ago and it just means that before the flowers bloom, before the fruit ripens, praise even the leaves on the tree. It may not be your time yet. Be grateful for the season you are in, it might just be a time of divine preparation!

8.        Say what you mean and mean what you say – People can be slow. So, don’t leave your words and your meaning up to interpretation. Because, um, well . . . good luck with that.

9.        Real parenting makes you neurotic – Did I put too many clothes on her? Is she wearing her sweater? Did she eat all of her lunch? Is this the right school for her? Sheesh!

10.    You can’t hide from yourself.  Everywhere you go, there you are! – The guru, Teddy Pendergrass, told us this. If a person is shady in their business, they are probably shady in relationships, at home, etc, etc. Pay attention, people are telling you who they are all the time. You just have to listen.

11.    Shine and Let Shine – I love being around fabulous people. But if you are truly fabulous then you love to see others shine too! Never be too full of yourself to give a compliment or to help someone shine. You’ll shine brighter too.

12.    Haters gon’ hate! That’s what they do!!! – You will waste valuable time and energy worrying about what people think of you, or trying to get people to like you . . . especially if it ain’t in them do so. I’m a people pleaser so it took me a minute to get here. Who knows why they hate you --- you think it’s your fabulousness but truthfully, deep down, it ain’t really even about you.  It’s kinda like being ugly! It’s really not gonna change unless something drastic happens (matter of fact, it’s exactly like being Ugly)!!! 

13.    In love, it’s okay to be different – He’s Duck Dynasty. I’m Real Housewives. As long as you both want the same things – a happy home, love and respect, hot butt naked sex . . . you’ll be alright!!!

14.    It’s easy to be average. – There are plenty of role models and examples to follow.

15.    Happiness is a choice . . . That YOU make!!!  - If you’re looking for that time in life when there are no troubles, if you’re looking for that person who helps you find your “happy”, new car, house, etc.  --- Good Luck!!! The goal is to possess your joy in spite of all.

Now get out there and find your “sunshine”!! That’s an order! J